THE SIXTH DAY OF CHAOS
Million Dollar Pug yawning.
On the sixth day of chaos….
Facebook Post:
Up and at it early today!
Reality Check:
3:45 a.m. Chucky comes in our room for unknown reason but summons me to come with him back to his bed. Moments after laying in his bed…
Chucky: “I peed the bed.”
Me: “When?”
Chucky: “Just now.”
Me: “WHERE?” (I start feeling my clothes to see if they are wet.)
Chucky: “Right here.” (Under him)
Me (in a haze… after all it’s 3:45 a.m. people): “I’ll get a towel for you to lay on and clean jammies.”
(I was not changing sheets until I saw daylight. No judgement please.)
4:45 a.m.: Chucky falls back to sleep. I never do.
4:55 a.m.: I perform the Ross Geller from Friends “Hug & Roll” maneuver with success and proceed to the man cave for a workout which is uninterrupted until the last 5 minutes by Larry. I will call it a win. If only I could lay off the holiday treats the workouts would actually be helping me.
5:45 a.m.: Am I in a dream? I come downstairs and the fireplace is on. The coffee maker is heating up. Christmas lights are a twinkling. Larry’s voluntarily unloading the dishwasher? This is amazing. Wait no.... he’s lobbying for pancakes. I am on to you kid.
6:00 a.m.: While making eggs (I vetoed pancakes to delay the onset of diabetes a little further), I realize that the gingerbread Who-village is starting to crumble. YAAASSSS! What will we do if it falls? I don’t know, throw it away? Gasp! Gum drops have taken a death leap off the facades and a few hard candy balls have fallen to the counter and rolled away. I may not be able to toss the whole village for another 8 days but you can bet those loose pieces are getting flung into the compost bin today. Score!
7:00 a.m.: Is that green toothpaste on the rug? Yes. Yes it is. That’s not coming out without some steam cleaning.
10:00 a.m.: Mini holiday bedroom makeovers complete on kids rooms. I am too lazy to wrap the new flannel sheets we bought them as a Christmas gift (in an attempt to see if warmer beds will keep them in bed past 5:00 a.m.) so I make up the beds with them today. If I wait until Christmas Day it’ll be chaos so surprise kids! Christmas came early! Fingers crossed for sleep tonight.
10:30 a.m.: Take the Million Dollar Pug to the vet. She loses her mind in the parking lot and is jumping between car seats like she’s an equestrian. The only dog I know that loves going to the vet and will bang the door down to get in and get attention. All looks good according to the vet. The Pug has worn herself out and eventually just lays down on the floor. Another vet visit bill towards her reigning title of the Million Dollar Pug.
Afternoon… sometime (I am losing my thunder. Well gee I’ve only been up since 3:45 a.m.) Teacher and school staff gifts are assembled. Wine for the teachers. Fudge for everyone else. Still mad at the lunch lady so she doesn’t get any fudge because after all she’s auctioning off dessert with wreckless abandon. I consider but refrain from putting the “We are sorry our child makes you drink” message on the gift tag for my children’s teachers. There is such a thing as too far Pinterest. No word from the electrician today. I’m playing guess which switch still works in the kitchen.
Evening… sometime: Larry has gotten a hold of my phone and taken several selfies on it. Dinner finally happens after the big room reveal. Taco Tuesday followed by 1 Cupcake and 2 pieces of fudge with a new twist sampled. Almost fall asleep in Larry’s new cozy flannel sheets with him but he makes several demands… I mean requests… that prevent that from happening.
It is really 8 days until Christmas???!!