THE FOURTH DAY OF CHAOS
Chucky’s favorite tank at the museum.
On the fourth day of chaos….
Facebook Post:
The fun continues for my husband’s birthday! We are going to relax this morning, then head to the Flying Heritage & Combat Armor Museum and finish the day with Cookies and Carols!
Reality Check:
5:00 a.m.: It’s yoga day. “An active recovery day” the fitness instructor says. It seems more active and less recovery to me. 72 vinyasas later I finish. The corpse pose doesn’t seem long enough.
5:45 a.m.: Coffee. Stat. But you know who needs coffee more than I do? My neighbor. 19 days before Christmas she had surgery. She has three kids, a new puppy, a house full of people coming in just days and is on crutches. She’s my hero and deserves the biggest coffee ever. Chucky (yep up early again) and I walk a cup up to her and set it on her porch.
6:15 a.m.: Both kids are up. Lego advent calendar items assembled. Fist fight breaks out in the kitchen over who gets to pick a spatula to make eggs.
6:30 a.m.: Scrambled eggs for everyone! I picked the spatula and consequences are looming.
7:00 a.m.: Quiet play time with Duplos.
7:03 a.m.: Fight breaks out over Duplos. Duplos are confiscated. Children are banished to their rooms.
7:15 a.m.: Tracking whereabouts of top secret Santa delivery via FedEx. Saturday or maybe Sunday delivery has now been updated to a Tuesday delivery. Don’t hurry on my account. Somehow it took the package less time to get from Indianapolis to the west coast than it will take to get from Troutdale Oregon to Sammamish. They must be strapping it to someone’s back and having them carry it up by hand. Is that part of FedEx Ground? Must be a new white glove delivery service.
8:30 a.m.: Depart for donut shop en route to flight museum.
9:00 a.m.: Depart donut shop.
9:01 a.m.: I realize I must have mapped the route to the museum during high traffic earlier in the week. I have allowed 1 hour so that we get there when they open promptly at 10:00 a.m. Google maps now says it’ll take 27 minutes and warns me that the museum may not be open when we arrive. Thanks Google. You are on my list with FedEx and the lunch lady.
9:30 a.m.: Arrive at the museum. Not even the curators are here yet. Starbucks anyone?
9:45 a.m.: Return from Starbucks with coffee. Kids are whining. iPads for everyone!
10:00 a.m.: First ones through the door at the museum. We have the entire place to ourselves. It’s really well done and my husband is loving it. Points for planning on my part.
10:30 a.m.: Chucky picks out his favorite tank. Name of tank and meaning fit considering his behavior this week.
11:15 a.m.: Museum walk through complete. While waiting for My husband to use the restroom, two other patrons that are brothers and slightly older than our kids get into a fight. One hits the other and the other ends up in tears. Their dad reprimands them and asks why they can’t leave each other alone. Sounds familiar. I feel your pain sir.
11:45 a.m.: Burgermaster stop for lunch! Wait, donuts, burgers… the diet starts on the 26th.
11:46 a.m.: Realize that we let the kids have donuts earlier and milkshakes with their burgers. Maybe I was too harsh on the lunch lady last week…
12:15 p.m.: Depart Burgermaster and head home. Again it’s a 27 minute drive but the whining starts again. iPads for everyone! (We are going to pay for this screen time later).
1:30 p.m.: My head is killing me. I go to bed. My husband takes one for the team and wrangles the monkeys.
2:45 p.m.: I rally after resting to make birthday cupcakes for my husband’s actual birthday tomorrow. Cause that is what we need… cupcakes. My husband continues to be the head referee and takes the kids outside. I start on the cupcakes and ALMOST put too much flour in them. I catch the mistake in time. Phew. Cupcakes turn out perfect. Bad cupcake karma of the last few years has been reversed. It’s a Christmas miracle.
4:45 p.m.: Headache is still lingering. My husband takes the kids to the Cookies and Carols event. Wait cookies? Again, I really need to go easier on the lunch lady…
5:15 p.m.: Is that tiramisu still in the fridge? I forgot to eat it for breakfast. Maybe that will cure my headache?
5:40 p.m.: My husband reports that there are some kids behaving worse than ours at the Cookies and Carols event. We feel like parents of the year. #winning
6:25 p.m.: My husband and the boys arrive home from Cookies and Carols. Chucky says he has a headache. Could it be that he has had too much sugar today? Tylenol is given.
7:00 p.m.: Snacks requested by the kids. Chucky asks if he can have dessert. Dessert? Really? That’s all you’ve had today Chucky. Again, I am sorry I was so hard on you lunch lady.
7:54 p.m.: All quiet on the western front. Weekend survived. Boom. Mic drop.