THE SECOND DAY OF CHAOS
The $30 Charlie Brown Christmas tree.
On the second day of chaos….
Facebook Post:
Happy Friday y’all! Who is ready for the weekend!? It’s Pizza Night and we’ve got big plans! Can’t wait!
Reality Post:
F*ck it’s Friday. Where did the week go? Friday used to be my favorite day, now it’s the start of a marathon each week to entertain the kids and not have them destroy the house.
I don’t know about you but I didn’t sleep at all last night. Yesterday I wondered if treating myself to an afternoon coffee on my way to get the kids was a good idea. The answer sadly was no because I feel like I slept for about 20 minutes all night. My Fitbit says tracker says 5 hours and 28 minutes. Liar.
5:00 a.m.: I drag myself out of bed hoping that a workout will energize me after the lack of sleep. I realize that it is “Cardio Day” on my workout app which my best friend and I refer to as the “Bladder Buster.” No woman over 40 should have to jump and bounce around this much but I am trying to counteract the fudge I have been consuming all week so I persist.
5:45 a.m.: Workout complete. Coffee machine here I come. Don’t let me down Brigitta. I am counting on you. I turn on the kitchen lights. They flicker. They flicker again. They flicker a third time then the whole circuit goes out. I guess my husband was right. The switch is breaking. Time to call the electrician to come out. He shouldn’t be busy at all this time of year right? I am sure we can get right on his schedule… in the dead of winter… in the Pacific Northwest. (Still waiting for a return call from the scheduler as of this moment….)
7:00 a.m.: Larry’s awake and has breakfast. I announce that I am going to the grocery store (still sweaty from my workout) to beat the Friday rush. Larry decides to come with me. We end up with only 3 of the 6 items he’s begging for that weren’t on the original list in the cart. He lobbies for me to buy him this $30 sad looking, Charlie Brown Christmas tree outside the store to add to the holiday hoard. I stay strong and resist. It will not meet the same fate at our house like the Halloween pumpkins and gingerbread who-house village. #winning
9:00 a.m.: Breaking news from the outside world. Best friend’s child is vomiting and has a fever. Sister’s dog has woken her up with a pile of vomit at the end of the bed. I consider myself lucky that none of that is happening at our house today. We did get flu shots right?
10:00 a.m.: Finally getting to those gifts I was supposed to wrap yesterday. Why do we need tissue paper on the inside of gift boxes? And why is it never the right size so you need a Masters in Origami to make it fit correctly and look nice? The gift is already wrapped and inside of a box. The gift boxes are clean. Why is this extra step necessary? After fighting with one set of tissue, I declare that I will not be using tissue paper this year. At. All.
2:00 p.m.: Multiple errands. Ran through Target only to realize that the holiday section has become a desolate wasteland of ornaments, decorations and wrapping paper. A state of emergency should be declared… oh wait, it has been because now everyone is lining up at the in-store Starbucks for provisions. Will skip that afternoon coffee.
4:00 p.m.: The kids arrive home from school. Neither child wants pizza tonight. Who doesn’t want pizza? What’s wrong with these two? After several minutes of negotiations, they decide on Chipotle take out…again. Forget you two, My husband and I are having pizza. He departs to make the rounds.
4:30 p.m.: We eat like senior citizens then depart for the boys Tae Kwon Do test.
5:15 p.m.: Tae Kwan Do test time! Larry is going for his advanced yellow belt. Chucky is trying for his advanced white belt. It’s a total goat rodeo of kids at the school. Somehow the instructors wrangle all of them. Larry’s belt falls off during the test and he realizes his pants were on backwards the entire time. Hot mess.
6:15 p.m.: Both boys passed their tests! Special dessert at the Met Market. After perusing all of their choices, it’s $6 milkshakes for everyone!
6:30 p.m.: We run into our neighbors while driving through the neighborhood looking at Christmas lights. Their Friday night is about as exciting as ours.
7:00 p.m.: Bath and bedtime. Chucky decides to read me the Lorax book he attempted to read to my husband last night. Reminder, he knows 11 sight words. Only about 4 of them are in this book. He decides to change the word fish to fart. It proves to be a more interesting story. He cracks himself up.
7:30 p.m.: Chucky is tired. He’s cold. Then hot. Now he’s thirsty and needs a drink. The room is too bright. Then too dark. He wants to listen to one song. Nope, wants a different song. This could go on forever.
7:54 p.m.: Chucky falls asleep to the Karate Kid Soundtrack. Appropriate given his evening plans. See 5:15 p.m. – 6:15 p.m.
Another day survived! I think I am going to bed now. Yes, I know it's 8:15 p.m. Cheers!