Item #33 – Go on a Date Night (at least) Once a Month

40 Things for 40 Years in 40 Weeks: Item #33 (Things I Really Enjoy) – Go on a Date Night (at least) Once a Month

Date night – it’s a luxury when you have small kids and often it gets pushed to last priority. While my husband and I try to spend time together and connect after the kids are asleep during the week - we are both tired from what is going on in our days with work, shuttling kids around to school, appointments and activities, running errands, cooking, cleaning, household maintenance and everything in between. On the weekends, we spend our days trying to make memories (a.k.a. entertain) the kids so we are equally tired by the time they go to bed in the evening. Add on trying to find a sitter and working around weekend commitments and it makes it near impossible to squeeze this time in. But in the spirit of having kid free time and adult conversation, I added “Going on a Date Night (at least) once a month” to my #40for40in40 list.

In today’s world as parents, there is so much pressure to be hands on and manage their busy little lives every single second. We have to monitor screen time, manage their activity schedules, make sure they have quiet play time and outside time, ensure they are eating healthy meals, help with their homework and school projects, volunteer in the classroom and fulfill all of their holiday wishes and dreams. It is all too often that we let parental responsibilities overtake our lives completely and forget to carve out the time to spend with our spouse without our kids. To those of you that are parents, I can not stress how important the time away from your kids is. If you are not already doing this on a regular basis, you should be. If you don’t have family or friends to help with childcare, find a great sitter and hire out. It’s worth every penny. Having time away makes you a better and more patient parent. On the hard, long days when it seems like bedtime will never come – it gives you something to look forward to. And when you have been up night after night with sick kids and you feel like you’ve aged ten years in a just a week – getting showered, dressed up and pulling yourself together to calmly eat a meal and finish a conversation with your partner without kids interrupting you makes you feel human again.

I am happy to report that my husband and I reached this goal since I set it last year. We have made it out for a day date or evening every single month and sometimes twice in one month! Sometimes the outings were simple – a movie, a low key dinner or even just a slow walk through the mall or Target. Other times, he indulged my crazy whims and helped me tick some of the other items off my #40for40in40 list – Indoor Skydiving, going to a comedy show or taking a glass blowing class. We also took a pasta making class, went to a gala, went on an overnight away from the kids, dined at Canlis (one of the finest places in Seattle), had a couple of other nice meals out and one day we just sat in our pajamas during the kids Christmas break and rented a movie at home while our babysitter took the kids out. The point is that we spent time together no matter what we were doing and our relationship is better off for having done so. This time away reminds us of who we are (and were) before we had kids. It also reminds us that before we know it, our kids will be heading off to college and so we need to continue to work on our marriage and connection with one another.

A special thank you to our army of babysitters that watched the boys along the way. You know who you are and we are so grateful that you have loved and entertained our boys so we could escape. Thank you to my husband for being up for all my crazy ideas, going to classes with me, trying new restaurants and even sitting through what I didn’t realize was going to be a movie that mostly drew in a crowd of teenage girls. You’ve been a true sport this past year. To the other parents out there, just do it. You will be happy you did.

And so that completes items #33 on my list. 32 items checked off the list and 8 to go. Stay tuned for more… #40for40in40